by Ronomundo
Humor
How To Get Out of a Speeding Ticket
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:
Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.
Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:
Captain: Sir, may I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is. It was valid.
Captain: Whose car is this?
Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’s card. The driver owned the car.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it. Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
Driver: No problem. Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glove box, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Really? Ain’t that something? And I’ll bet the lying sucker told you I was speeding, too …
Now – a word from our sponsors:
So let us consider the four items below:
If you are concerned about our nation, please decide how you can participate. At a minimum, please submit your thoughts and comments: We are looking for a PHP programmer who can help us design a one click plug in for people to be able to contact their elected officials. Please advise if you know of someone who could do this in exchange for an equity position with Justice Times.
Please consider joining our small group of investigative writers. You can research and write in your spare time and share the advertising revenue.
We are also considering investors who would like to be paid off the top from all incoming revenues instead of the typical business model of “if there is any profit, we will share it with you unless we vote to keep it.”
“If you’re threatened with a lawsuit and can’t afford a lawyer or aren’t sure you can trust the lawyer you have, visit Jurisdictionary® to get step-by-step tips and tactics for winning with or without a lawyer.”
